Showing posts with label Trying to Conceive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trying to Conceive. Show all posts
Unfruitful Sex Just Outside The City
I remember the one episode of SATC when Miranda inadvertently got pregnant and how devastated Charlotte was to the point where she was almost cruel. I remember thinking that she was over-reacting and being a completely unsupportive friend but this was all pre-TTC. I think some crazy switch goes off in a woman's head when she's ready to be maternal and the greater the time that elapses, the more emotional one seems to get. I found out this week that a good friend who wasn't really trying to get pregnant is in fact now expecting. My initial reaction was complete elation for her but trailing right behind the happiness was a cloud of sadness and despair for me and for once I kinda saw where Charlotte was coming from. I've been taking all the right vitamins, highlighting and counting days on a calendar like Galileo, monitoring all sorts of bodily fluids and at the end of the month get slapped in the face with a BFN. Don't get me wrong, I would not turn my back on a friend and am truly happy for their gift but I still can't seem to suppress feelings of my own self woe.
I don't know if its some law of physics that seems to magnetically bring all pregnant women walking in my direction or sit next to me but lately it seems wherever I turn there's a bump or a baby announcement in the mail. Everyone keeps saying "Don't think about it" well that's pretty hard to do when I can't take a step without constantly being reminded of my empty womb. Most of my friends have all conceived effortlessly which always led me to believe that once we stopped preventing that poof it would happen. Nowadays I find some solace on infertility forums of others who are struggling but it still doesn't really take the edge off.
I know that in this day and age science has taken the role of God but I sure was hoping to do this the good old natural way. Although currently our chances of conceiving naturally are greatly compromised, I still do feel hopeful each month. "You never know" I keep telling myself. This past month I buckled down and bought an ovulation kit. I was so thrilled when the little digital screen showed a happy face. I've gotten so many BFN's that seeing a happy face even if its just for ovulation gave me a sense of hope.
TTC and Other Acronyms I Never Knew Existed
We Americans sure do love our acronyms - all 4 million of them. With the many abbreviated "words" our society has created, you can practically write an entire sentence without saying an actual word. By now we've all gotten accustomed to LOL or ROTFL when something is funny but it wasn't until a few weeks ago while reading forums on pregnancy topics where I discovered a whole new world of abbreviations I never knew existed and were it not for Google, I still wouldn't know how to communicate preconception with as few words as possible.
You see, my DH (Dear Husband) and I have been TTC (Trying To Conceive) for about a year now and have yet to witness a BFP (Big Fat Positive).
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